Cross Out My Eyes
by Nanaki BH
Summary: [RenoxRufus] AU, Reno escapes from a gang only to become the key the yakuza needs to destroy it.
1. In which the story begins

Disclaimer:_Final Fantasy VII_ and all associated materials are property of Square-Enix.

Cross Out My Eyes  
By: Nanaki BH

Reno pressed his palm to the wound at his side, blood gushing between his fingers. The sensation of nausea swept over him and he closed his eyes tightly, trying to will it away, trying to convince himself that he was really anywhere other than where he was. His throat felt dry and torn from breathing so harshly as he ran. His feet didn't want to carry him anymore. But he had to keep going. His will to live was far too strong to just give in.

Things were beginning to blur, though. His vision was starting to go. He forced himself to just run faster. Faster. The warm blood that oozed from beneath his hand reminded him why he should be a little more careful. That was difficult to do while avoiding his "fellow" gang members, though. They were like the hounds at his heels, nipping and barking, forming an abyss should he decide to turn around. His legs were cramping but he kept going, pushing them until he couldn't feel them at all, and felt as though he was running faster than light, than sound, than the reality around him.

He saw a light and ran toward it until it enveloped him entirely and he blacked out.

When his awareness returned to him, he knew he wasn't running. He had been thrown into a dead stop. His first instinct was to move, to run, to get away. He flailed and thrashed, his legs moving as to run but finding no traction beneath his feet; only air. He snapped open his eyes and his vision unexpectedly met with a cold stare hidden behind dark shades.

The man backed away and straightened his tie in a very formal manner. Although his actions and presence seemed gentle, he had the girth of a gorilla; a large bald man practically built to be a bouncer. Reno instantly recognized the way he was dressed and it finally made sense why he couldn't hear the mob of angry gang members anymore.

He scrambled to his feet and tried to step back. His legs remembered what hell he had previously put them through and crumbled, bringing him right back to where he started. The hole in his side screamed with searing pain and he let himself collapse against the dusty sidewalk again.

"Who are you?" he muttered hoarsely, breathing hard into the ground. "What do you want with me?"

The man in the shades remained stationary and replied in a very cool tone. "I am Rude, although my name is of no consequence. I'm to bring you back to our boss at headquarters. If you would please cooperate quietly..."

"_Quietly?_" he raged fists curling, teeth clenching. "You want me to go from bad to worse _willingly? _Why the fuck would I ever..."

"You were trying to escape, correct?"

Reno tensed, feeling somewhat embarrassed about his botched attempt to leave the gang. Being saved was not what he had planned on... It was welcomed, but truthfully, he had intended to go down fighting if he really had to. "Yeah..." he muttered through pursed lips.

"He's prepared to protect you. Our boss, that is."

"Protect me? There's a catch then, isn't there? No yakuza boss would _protect_ somebody for free."

A smile slowly crept across Rude's tan face. That was answer enough. Part of Reno almost didn't want to hear what the catch would be. All he wanted to do was escape safely and maybe move to Kalm if he could. He wanted to break away from the destructive life he was leading before he would wind up dead. He didn't intend to ally himself with the yakuza. They were even worse than the gang. They had a better code of honor and better living arrangements, but becoming yakuza meant to kill to exist. His life was worth little to anyone living in the slums of Midgar. One wrong step and they would be sure he wouldn't get away.

"Should I assume that... you won't let me turn you down, huh? But... Can I ask?"

"What do you want to know?" he asked tersely.

Reno breathed shallowly, afraid to even touch his bullet wound but he forced himself to stand. His consciousness was slipping again and his brain felt like it was on fire. "Why do you people even need me? Why does your boss want me?" His muscles were aching and on the verge of finally giving up. All he knew was that he couldn't run anymore. Running would be a futile effort... and would probably kill him with the exertion anyway. "Why can't I just leave? Why can't anyone just leave me the fuck alone now?"

He could feel Rude moving closer rather than see him and soon felt himself collected in his strong arms, holding him up when he hadn't even realized he was falling.

"Our boss has some very particular tastes and he seems especially interested in you. I think it's your strong will to live. But we'll need you if we're to eradicate that gang. We need you."

As he slowly lost himself to the darkness behind his eyelids, he felt something calm him, like a gentle kiss to his nerves. The promise of protection from a man he had never met was enough for him in the end, in a world where he was left with little else.

_How strangely kind,_ he thought. _Are things really... finally working in my favor? No. Can't be._

Author's Notes: I really, really had to write something before my claim decided to die on me or something. So here's my submission for #17 kHz for 30kisses on Livejournal. I always wanted to write something gang/yakuza AU themed for the Turks. There will certainly be more chapters. Hopefully it'll turn into something worth reading. Heh... Hope you enjoyed reading! Stay tuned for future chapters!


	2. In which fate approaches the fallen

Disclaimer: _Final Fantasy VII_ and all associated materials are property of Square-Enix.

Cross Out My Eyes  
By: Nanaki BH

He could feel something warm against his side. It was wet… a cloth? Right, right, they had promised to protect him. The pain he felt was dull and almost nonexistent if he didn't focus on it. He concentrated instead on the delicate touches tat would occasionally awkwardly brush against his stomach. He could feel the damp cloth circle the bullet wound as if to wipe away blood. He kept his eyes closed though, lost in a strange and almost euphoric sort of dream. It was hard to remember when the last time was that someone else had taken care of him. Reno could only remember fending for himself and loving only himself.

The warm cloth and gentle touches vanished for a moment and were replaced soon with what was probably gauze and tape. And there were those fingers again, hard at work. Their touch was so sensual that it was hard to mistake them for simply doctoring. He couldn't stop himself as a soft sigh escaped his parted lips.

"Stop pretending to sleep. I know that you're awake."

_Such harsh words to be spoken with such a nice voice_, he thought. He cracked open an eye to look sheepishly at who had been tending to him, his eyes first blinded by the light of the room. He certainly wasn't expecting to see another guy. And to think that he had been thinking such thoughts about him... Though, honestly, once he gave him a good once-over, he realized how attractive his savior really was. White-blonde hair and delicate features, a white suit neatly pressed, and a scowl that could shatter dreams.

He just kept staring, too. Reno let his eyes travel, feeling sort of out of place. His gaze rested on the man's hands which he noticed were still stained slightly with dried blood.

"Ah… Thank you."

"Very little compared to what you'll do for me."

A stake to the heart! The same pretty boy who had saved his life was also the guy who had dragged him into this new mess. After such a peaceful nap, he didn't want to be hearing such things. He wanted to just curl up somewhere and sleep. It was an understatement to say that what the gang had done to him was traumatic. He thought himself a well-adjusted man but didn't want to adjust to the constant chance of betrayal.

Running, killing, fighting… It wasn't so bad when it meant it would save his life.

Reno sighed, burying his face in his palms. "What do you want me to do; your dirty work? You want me to kill them?"

"Them? The gang?" It was odd and definitely irritating to hear him speak so condescendingly. "Oh, no, of course not. You'll _help_ kill them, yes. We need you to help us get the jump on them."

Some static clouded Reno's mind. "Why me?" It was dangerous enough to ask so many questions but Rude's words were nothing but sentimental in the end. His life was insignificant. What made him so special?

"Your skills are exceptional. You have a good head about you and you aren't irrational. And besides," he said, pulling up a seat and crossing his legs, "they think that you're dead."

"How…?"

"I told Rude to make it look real."

"Oh my _God,_ he's the one who shot me! Bastard!"

"You'll live. They'll never suspect a thing."

"But they saw him."

"They did… They thought they got you _then_ they saw him. A bullet can fly where a person is not. I'm afraid they aren't the brightest bunch."

Reno smacked his forehead, incapable of believing this man was yakuza. He was too laid back, too relaxed… too young. He expected their boss to be the mysterious and intimidating sort; perhaps an old man with long sideburns and a large tattoo on his back. The only things mysterious about him were his eyes and that was entirely irrelevant. If they were abducting him, he wasn't so sure he wanted to be taking orders from their boss anymore. Maybe it was his strong confidence that bothered him, sensing the lack of his own. In which case, why did it immediately strike him as a bad thing?

"Tell me, couldn't you and your guys have just gone and blown their heads off without me?"

Their boss quirked a thin blonde eyebrow. "You're overestimating our numbers. There are very few of us. I may have control over many people but I only have a handful of loyal followers."

Reno pushed himself up, suddenly feeling the need to just _move_. His stomach shouted as soon as he bent forward, fresh blood seeping through the gauze. He hadn't expected it to hurt so much anymore. Maybe that was to be expected after he had let himself slip back into a brief sense of false security before. He clutched at his middle, groaning softly.

"Screw this. I can back out now if I don't promise you anything, right?" With a little bit of struggling and effort, he managed to get on his feet and only leaned slightly against the arm of the leather couch. "I'm leaving."

As soon as he made his move to leave, the boss grabbed his wrist and with a tug that could easily be called much more than "forceful", he had Reno already lying flat on the couch again.

"You aren't leaving," he said, staring down at him with the look of a predator.

"I could call the fucking cops on you," Reno growled.

Bad idea to say that…

"I am the only authority in this city."

A cold fear gripped Reno's heart and curled its fingers around his throat. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak. He couldn't even look away. His state had left him paralyzed.

"Rufus Shinra," he successfully managed to choke out.

"Correct. Now," he said off-handedly, "perhaps you could use some aspirin. Or maybe some calcium to make you more agreeable."

Reno's eyebrow lifted at the strange, sudden suggestion. His attitude was totally different. What had just happened, he wondered? What was that fierce, hungry look had had seen in him? The feeling that clawed at his heart was familiar and yet not. He couldn't explain why his pulse had quickened when Shinra had shoved him down so roughly. The feeling of his large, warm hands on his shoulders was left smoldering even after he pulled away, leaving him even more frustrated and confused than he was to start with.

"Calcium? Are you messing with me? You'll do anything to keep me here, won't you?" he asked, sounding more concerned than aggravated.

Rufus shrugged. "Oh no, I've just heard that angry people are lacking calcium in their diets." He tipped his head to the side and his golden blonde hair cascaded over his delicate face. If nothing else, his beauty was convincing. Although there was much to him that indicated that he was inexperienced, he exuded confidence.

"You seem to care so much," Reno said sarcastically, sitting up.

"Oh, I do."

"I bet you're just going to use me, then kill me."

"I wouldn't dream of anything so horrible."

"Of course you would."

"Maybe just a little."

"What? Yes or no."

"_Maybe._"

At that moment in their discourse, Reno realized that what they were doing could be defined as "playful banter". He instantly felt like running off and burying his head. Not only was he suddenly letting his guard down, he was _enjoying_ himself. It felt so fundamentally wrong. Then again, what was fundamentally wrong could be sometimes overruled by what felt right.

If Rufus didn't kill him, then his own embarrassment would.

He gave him another look over. Looking at him with an honest eye, he couldn't help but admit that he found him good-looking. He had all the features of a refined diplomat. Rufus was perfect in contrast to himself. He looked down solemnly at his own pitiful attire, wishing he had worn something a little nicer than jeans that day if he were to appear before Midgar's most elite.

He knew that his own self-consciousness and Rufus' glorious good looks shouldn't factor into deciding whether or not he should willingly side with them. It should've been about living or dying. He didn't want to stick around only for the unrealistic prospect of… _What do I want anyway? Don't tell me I'm actually interested in this guy…_

Rufus smirked knowingly, as if he knew what was going on inside Reno's head.

"So can I ask why?"

"Why do I want them gone?" he asked, resting his chin on his palm.

If he knew what he was going to ask, then why parrot it back? "Yes. Why?"

"It's the way things are supposed to be," he answered at first, looking away to gaze unseeing into space. He said it like it answered everything yet he didn't seem like he was convinced himself. It was at that very moment that Reno noticed a weakness in him; an uncommon fragility that he hadn't seen in him before. "It keeps the order. Not just for us but for everyone." It sounded like it was just thrown in as an afterthought, as something that could soften the severity of the actions he was predestined to perform.

Just as Reno was destined to become something awful because he was born in the slums, Rufus was destined too. He was born the son of a yakuza boss and was destined to live a corrupted life.

Reno could feel his fate change just a little and wondered if he could possibly shake Rufus' if he chose to stick around.

_Why am I thinking like that?_

Rufus seemed to notice his own intense expression and immediately tried to lighten it up, smiling a weak, unconvincing smile. "So you see?" he said. "Let's keep fate in line."

"Can I ask you something else?"

"More questions?"

It was a rash, hastily devised question with little discretion. He was sure that he would regret it if he voiced it. Still, it tugged at his lips and made him feel like he just had to say it, like it was really the right thing, regardless of how foolish it was.

"Can I kiss you?" _Because, you know, I'm an idiot who thinks it's totally normal to just…_

"Why?"

Reno blinked. Once. Twice. "Why answer a question with a que-"

Before he could even property complete his sentence, Rufus had pressed their lips together. Reno's mind drew an immediate blank, all of his thoughts effectively stopped in their tracks. It was a nice kiss, honestly, but he couldn't allow himself to enjoy it. His back went rigid and his mouth went dry. _It was a mistake, I didn't mean to…_

_He's making fun of me._

But even when Rufus pulled away, his eyes still lidded, Reno knew he was wrong. The kiss was honest but Reno didn't understand it. It was like Rufus was really trying to communicate something through it but Reno wasn't sure _what_ yet.

The boss stood, smoothing his hands over his slacks. "Thank you," he said. "For joining us."

He would've stopped him to remind him that he hadn't necessarily agreed to join them if his mind wasn't so devoid of thought, if his mouth had been a little more cooperative. But with that, Rufus simply left, leaving Reno confused and alone in the room. He just wanted to scream or do something that could release his mounting frustration.

"C-cant he just be serious?!"

Author's Notes: I hated this chapter. I hope you won't agree with me but I promise that the next chapter will be better. It's just because I took such a long break from writing. Bleh. Sorry 'bout that. My bad.


	3. In which comes the night

Disclaimer: _Final Fantasy VII_ and all associated materials are property of Square-Enix.

Cross Out My Eyes  
By: Nanaki BH

Reno sat on the stoop outside, arms limp between his knees, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He watched it absently as the glow of its burning end slowly disintegrated and fell away, burning out before it hit the pavement. A cold gust blew past him and the ashes were picked up and blown away. His mind was surprisingly blank. If not for the chilly night air and the sounds of the city, he would have felt completely disconnected. Occasionally, his mind would drift to his new blonde-haired boss, the man who had brought him into this whole predicament.

Somewhere in the city, he knew, Rufus' men were already scattered around, searching silently at his word. He could've sent them all on a wild goose chase if he wanted to. That made him realize the sort of supreme influence Rufus had over his gang – the Turks. It made him subsequently realize his own power. Rufus was listening to him, after all.

He could mislead him, he knew; run him in the completely wrong direction for all he cared. And yet, he didn't want to. He felt hopelessly like he had no reason to anymore. Actually, he felt a little bad. It was his own skin he should be caring about but he was suddenly finding himself more concerned for his new contractor.

It was whatever he had seen in him the day before. There was just something there that made him reconsider his own importance. If Rufus Shinra, the city's most powerful, had such worry hidden within him, then… It made them almost the same.

Footsteps sounded behind him and he turned his head just slightly to assess who had come to join him. It was unnecessary, though. He knew who it would be. He slid over on the step a little, allowing Rufus some room should he decide to take a seat. To Reno's surprise, he really did sit, pulling his suit coat closer around him to protect himself from the cooling air.

"I didn't expect you to be this fast," Reno said, honestly surprised with the speed at which Rufus had sent out his followers.

Rufus shrugged, hands clutching the thin fabric of his jacket. "Better late than never. It keeps them from attacking us before we attack them, that's for sure."

Reno dropped what remained of his cigarette and crushed it to an ashen mess beneath his shoe. "Who's to say they would have attacked you? I never heard about it."

"It would've happened at some point. I can't stop the inevitable; I can only try to move faster than it."

He couldn't argue. It was like fighting evil with evil. It was inevitable and there was nothing Reno could do to move faster than either of them. He didn't want world peace; it was just easier to live without conflict. He wouldn't stop Rufus or even try to talk sense into him. That was the power of fate and inevitability. It rendered his efforts all worthless.

He had expected Rufus to send him out personally to accompany his men. He was surprised when Rufus told him to hang back, maybe because he thought his directions were straight forward enough.

They had three separate hideouts: one in a warehouse, one in an apartment, and the last and most recent was located in the Wall Market area. They weren't typically violent people. They loved drugs, women, and money. The only times when they would get violent was when they were motivated. Unfortunately, a combination of the things they loved usually got them "motivated" enough. If anyone threatened to take away what they believed was "rightfully" theirs, they would make sure that those threats were silenced forever.

Reno knew that they would be at one of the three hideouts or a combination of the three. In a way, he was glad that he didn't have to go. If he went and they saw him and found out that he was responsible for tipping off Shinra's yakuza… then he would have been a dead man for real.

"I guess I can't argue with that," Reno replied at last, conceding that Rufus' decision was the one that had to be made. It began to dawn on him that by the time the night would come to a close he would be free. His life would cost theirs but… He would be free of them. He would be under Rufus Shinra but he didn't care anymore.

Because Rufus hadn't hurt him.

He showed his authority and made sure to uphold it but they were the same, doing only what they were inevitably meant to do. Rufus said he worked against the inevitable but no matter what he did to thwart it; Reno had the feeling that their meeting was inevitable and destined.

"I would thank you but I know you don't really agree with me."

Rufus glanced at him out of the corners of his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You say you're working against the inevitable but I believe it was inevitable that we met. Don't you think?" Reno looked down into his folded hands. "Or maybe it's my good luck or something, you know?"

Rufus scoffed, turning away his head to look distantly into the barren street. His eyes, a steely blue, reflected the kindled color of the streetlights, his perfect white skin in pale comparison. "Odd," he said, his voice as far away as his gaze seemed to be. "Though I suppose I can't completely disagree. Sometimes, I let some things slip through."

"You?" Reno gasped, feigning his surprise. "You don't seem like the kinda guy who would 'let things run their course'."

"This one seemed well enough. But just this time. You're special. I won't make you do anything. Not now. Not ever. I'm inviting you to join me." His calm didn't leave him but a new soft pink colored his cheeks. His words were spoken quickly as if he felt he would regret them.

It sounded to Reno as though the boss were offering to let him join him in more than just the Turks. It would be stupid to join because he suddenly found himself taken by Rufus' sly charm… but it was _inevitable_, right? Rufus was 'letting it happen', wasn't he?

He took a look at him, contemplating his answer. It was possible that Rufus already knew what his answer was and that's why he was blushing. _God, that's way too cute on a guy of his age. I wonder if he knows what he looks like…_

Unable to control himself, Reno grabbed Rufus' opposite shoulder and pulled him awkwardly against his chest. With the confusion so visible on his face, Rufus looked so young. Reno's heart gave an earnest thump in his chest and his breath hitched for a split second, too fast for the boss to notice. But when he slowly brought their lips together, Rufus could feel it all anyway; Reno's rapid heartbeat, his hot palms on his hips, and his warm breath as their tongues collides sensuously. It was a heated kiss; a dizzying exchange of new and unfamiliar feelings. Neither was sure it was right but neither of them seemed willing to pull away.

Rufus put up a hand to Reno's chin and pushed him away, touching the middle and index fingers of his other hand to his lips. For a few very uncomfortable moments, Reno was sure that Rufus was angry at him. His eyebrows were in a firm knot, his lips were pursed tightly, and his posture was absolutely stiff. If the kiss were to come at the price of sudden death then Reno was sure it was a mistake.

But he was certain that Rufus had kissed him back. He was relaxed when he held him.

"Look, if I – "

Rufus held up a hand to silence him and he leaned forward again, cautiously kissing Reno on the mouth.

Pulling away, Rufus tugged his coat closer to himself and looked back out at the street. They heard gunshots.

"I trust you," Rufus said.

The softly spoken words prickled Reno's ears and he looked up at him. "What do you – " The unexpected smile he saw upon his face, partly veiled by his strawberry hair made him realize.

_Playing coy with a guy,_ he thought. He shrugged to himself and grinned back. _Ah well. Safe now._

Author's Notes: That wasn't as horrible as it felt to me now that I read it over… It could still be terrible and I'm just delusional, though. Haha… I have no self-confidence. But enough about me! It's over! I hope you enjoyed it! This one was written for theme #24 "good night". I took it to literally be the adjective and noun as opposed to the phrase one says when going to sleep. I like trying to stretch the themes in usage.


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